Sunday, November 4, 2007

Mini Rant

Remember my rants about customers from a few months back? I've got another one.

It was the big fireworks display in South Park last night and that means one thing (apart from fireworks). Several hundred people simultaneously thinking "hmmm, what shall I do now? Oh I know, I'll go to the nearest pub, no one else will think of that." So off they trot, en masse, straight to our front door. So it went from being dead to absolutely packed in about five minutes, and the idiot ratio got bumped right up. Example:

Idiot: Busy isn't it!
Me: It is now.
Idiot: That'll be the fireworks.
Me:Yes...I know.
Idiot: Pint of cold Guinness when you're ready.

You will notice that Idiot has cleverly engaged me in conversation here so as to slip his order in at the end of our exchange, thus avoiding having to wait his turn. Also, I hate it when people say "when you're ready". I quickly look around to see if there is someone else I can serve, there is not, so I start pouring his Guinness. I am standing right in front of him at this time and he can clearly see me pouring his pint.

Me: Anything else?
Idiot: (to idiot wife) Tell him what you want.
Idiot Wife: A Fosters and a Guinness.

I pour a Fosters and another Guinness. They watch me pour them.

Me: That's £8.95 please.
Idiot: You know we only wanted one Guinness, right?
Me: Oh yes, of course. That's why I poured two Guinness and rang them through the till. Of course when you ordered two Guinness I knew you only wanted one, it was perfectly obvious to me because I am a freaking mind reader. You shouldn't have to worry about making your orders clear, let me work it out for you. etc etc.

Anyway, enough ranting, other stuff has happened too.

A couple of days ago I was walking down Cowley Road when I saw three students standing around outside the Classic Liquor and Deli looking down at a two litre bottle of Coke in a puddle. I wondered what they were doing. As I got closer I understood the great tragedy that had befallen them. One of them had dropped the bag with their bottle of cheap vodka in and it had smashed on the floor, and as if that wasn't bad enough one the shards of glass had punctured the coke bottle and it was spraying out into the road. Oh dear, no booze for you tonight lads.

Good news as well. Videosyncratic are now selling comics. I went and bought Watchmen the other week, a highly regarded graphic novel from the 80's which I should have read years ago but didn't. It was really good. You should probably read it. And you should spend some money at Videosyncratic.

I'm going now. It's time for a spot of B and E. Bacon and eggs! woo hoo.