Flavour Bomb - patent pending

I dreamed up an exciting new culinary product the other night. Didn't think it up, literally dreamed it. As you may be able to guess from the title of this post it's called flavour bomb. It's like a stock cube but oh so much more. "Delicious in soups and stews, crumble over a chicken before roasting. Or why not add boiling water and enjoy as a hot, savoury drink on a cold winter's eve? Flavour Bomb. Drop a Flavour Bomb on it! Now available in lemon and thyme." There'd be all kinds of flavours. Also, the name reminds me of bath bomb, so maybe it could be effervescent or something. I'm thinking of taking it to Knorr.

I was watching Escape from L.A. a couple of days ago and it gave me an idea for a way of making myself look really tough and mysterious. Try it out.
When someone approaches you, perhaps at a party, and says "hey, aren't you (insert your name here)? You slowly turn your head away, squint as though remembering some long distant hardship and utter in a slow, throaty growl, "I used to be". Leave a few seconds of silence and then change the subject. Give it a go, you'll look awesome. Guaranteed.

Going to see Watchmen tomorrow, I am very excited. Bye.

still here

Seems I've fallen victim to that all too common dry spell that new bloggers often suffer from. The problem is that I have lots of ideas about what to post, but then I start thinking that they're all really lame. Well no more. Here's what's going on.

First of all, I no longer keep my phone in a sock. Han got me a case for Christmas, but people have been calling it a phone bra.

Second. Lex has been on at me for ages to post my recipe for "super fast excitement rice". I had big plans for this, there was going to be a great long list of ingredients, step by step instructions and maybe even some photos. But of course that's not going to happen, that would involve some forward planning. Anyway, here's the basics of the recipe as I'm currently making it.

Stir fry loads of veg, add a spoonful of curry paste (I like goldfish brand chinese curry sauce concentrate), a little water to make it a bit saucy and throw in loads of meat. Any meat, I've made it with chicken, turkey, roast ham, sausage and various combinations.(I normally use meat that I've already cooked to save time.) Or you can use fish and prawns. Then mix in a load of cooked rice, it should go all golden from the curry sauce. That's pretty much it. You can make it as simply or as complicatedly as you like. I like to make a lot of it in one go, at least three meals worth. That way I can have some for my tea and take some to the pub with me to parade around in front of everyone when they're all drunk after work. Jealous.

Third. Inspired partly by a page I saw that had been torn out of Viz and the "why not try writing a sit-com?" page from Lee and Herring's 1995 Fist of Fun annual, I have been trying to invent potential comic strip characters. So far I have come up with:

"Pierre Pressure" a French kid who either pressures other kids into doing stupid stuff or is easily pressured himself, I'm not sure which one yet.

"Harm's Way" Tommy Harm shows you how to do things his way. His way is normally very dangerous, hilarious yet painful results ensue.

That's all I can think of for now, smell you later.